While I was driving home this morning from dropping my son off at my in-law's house I was struck with how peaceful I felt. I don't know if being able to play my music in the car helped or it was the amazingly beautiful weather outside. Regardless of what it was that lead me to feel this way, I will be thankful. Whenever I feel peace in my heart, my day is so much easier. Today will most likely be filled with highs and lows, some of which I am looking forward to, others not so much.
I get to have lunch with an old friend and her family (with their NEW BABY)! Who could not be excited about that prospect? :) I will spend some time with my Mom, which should be enjoyable. And last but not least my husband and I will meet up with people to have a heart-to-heart discussion. While I look to make peace with this couple this evening, I am also hoping that there will be no more additional damage done to this already extremely fragile relationship. My greatest fear is that these individuals will not hear what is in our hearts (because my mouth might get in the way for my part). I don't necessarily always have this problem, however it seems to happen regularly with these particular individuals.
I will be praying most of the day, as I have been for months now, that God will lift my heart and help me to express myself in a loving and respectful way. Most of my closer friends question why I even bother with this issue. One of my character traits (and what many would consider a weakness) has always been to seek resolution when there is conflict and apologize when there is hurt. However, I have been told that there is no point because my friends believe the other people to be insincere. How could anyone know this? Only God knows what is in this couple's hearts and frankly, I would not consider myself to be even close to understanding others as God does.
I am not going to say what will be, will be, however I will say that I will attempt to meet the challenge I am faced with as I mentioned in my last post. May God watch over me and continue to guide me to a life lead in God's image.
On another note, may God please watch over my husband's family members as they begin to feel the loss of a wonderful woman who was a mother, sister, wife, and grandmother. May Eleanor be received into the greatest kingdom there is ever to be. And may God watch over our family that is traveling today both to come to be together to honor and celebrate Eleanor's life and those who are on a little trip up north (my son and mother in-law, etc).