So, last night on the way home in the car with my Mom and my son, I saw this sign posted on a country back road that really made me think. My first thought went something like this..."What is so hard about fixing this road already? These stupid rough spot are killing the car's shocks etc."
Then I started to become a little more philosophical, which happens when I am very tired and ready to collapse these days. I began questioning how this idea fit into my life. At times things have seemed really rough, and I am not sure they always were but they seemed so at the time. Don't get me wrong things were rough after I had my son and there were crazy complications (I do believe heart and respiratory failure qualify). However, I have never worried a day in my life about where my food was going to come from or if I would have a bed to sleep on at night with a roof over my head. So, I guess I wonder how rough could it be?
However, I cannot ignore the emotional toll some things in life take on a person. I have a family member who has unfortunately been ill or had some serious medical problems for some time now. I am the main go-to person and lately I have been tired. I am so blessed and fortunate to be at a place in my life that I can help out and provide any and all assistance to this individual, however every once and awhile I want to scream.
My home is a mess and when I get around to cleaning and organizing its almost too far gone. Let's not even kid ourselves - my husband ends up doing plenty of cleaning as well. I won't even get started on how this lifestyle goes against my weak cooking efforts. I need all cylinders fired up and running for anything to happen in the kitchen.
At any rate I have been pondering this idea of a rough road all evening and into the morning now. I think that someone should have posted that sign in front of me many years ago. I keep thinking that if everything would just slow down and let me catch up, then (and only then) I would be able to feel prepared and ready to tackle problems. However, the reality is that sign is the honest to goodness truth. And the sign just serves as a friendly reminder to take it slow (or at least as slow as you can) and be aware.
I would like to think that fewer rough patches would help me out. And yet if I stop to think and am truly honest with myself I would realize that I cause some of my own issues. If I were to work out and watch what I eat I would most likely lose weight. By doing this I would probably shed a few small health problems with the pounds. Yet, my hand is currently about to reach for the jelly-filled doughnut. How does one explain this issue? Emotional dependency?