Wednesday, September 9, 2009

More frustration

I find myself to be at odds with myself these days. I think of weight loss and somehow (unbeknownst to me) I suddenly get very hungry and insist on eating ridiculous things (calorie laden things)! Why would I do such a thing, knowing that it won't help my chances of getting on the right track??? Excellent question.

Now, please, if someone has the answer feel free to fill me in on the secret. I am wondering if somehow I inadvertently think I am going to starve and never eat anything I like again if I am on the right track and losing weight. I like to work in black and white and not gray. Anyone who has known me for a while knows this too. That was the whole point of picking WW to be my guide in the quest to lose weight. If I follow this magical formula then, I too can look like Heidi Klum after several babies. Now for those of you who know me, that train left the station a LONG TIME AGO (long before I got married and pregnant). But at least I wanted to be well on my way to losing the first 10 pounds 5 weeks ago and look at what happened. I think I gained four pounds in the last five weeks!!!!

After four years of not having a winter coat, I finally accepted my size and went and bought a freaking winter coat. Now mind you I live in the Midwest where last year the true temperature was in the -20's for some time, the windchills were far lower than that. Now, I do realize that one might not call me a poster mother or the best example for my son when I go out in a mere fleece jacket and a flannel shirt in such weather. However, for the record I did bundle my little monster up so that no part of him was exposed; in fact, he was so bundled up that he could barely move some of the time. Back to my point-I bought the coat because I thought that if I accepted where I was finally then I could move forward and get where I want to get going.

Not working, just in case anyone was wondering. How can one know something intellectually and still feel paralyzed and not do anything? I know all of the wonderful things that can happen if I work hard on losing weight, however I can't seem to even get into a short rhythm going to make this happen. I just keep saying after this party, or after Labor Day, now I am wondering if it will even be in this month. I am the only one who can make this happen so we shall see what the next couple of days brings....


  1. Oh man, i am SO in your same shoes right now. Must. Get. Motivated. I don't even know what to say to myself.

    And of course, FK drops weight like it's hot.


    I'm with ya. Love you!