This past weekend we started to make a set of house rules for our household. Nothing crazy, just ideas to make our home run more like we want it to from here on in. One of the rules is to only eat one dinner &/ one lunch out during a week's time. I am feeling more comfortable in the kitchen and work has calmed down, therefore we can handle this. Another rule is that we must go to the YMCA at least twice a week to take M swimming outside of his assigned lesson day. He needs the activity as much or more than we need it. Plus since I am starting personal training in about a week's time I now have to remember how to be more dedicated to learning a new lifestyle. Working out and exercising somehow have to become a part of my day, not a part I fit in, but rather a part of my day that I work around like sleeping, showering, or eating. It's been a battle to exercise for a long time. I have been afraid of injury or compromising my health and I have been lazy. Many times both.
I think I view working out as an embarrassment to be honest. It's me saying look at what I allowed to happen to myself over the last several years. How could anyone look at me and not judge? I certainly spend time reprimanding myself for my mistakes. At least I try not to do that as much as I used to do though. There is a realization that there will always be something to strive for in life. So, right now one of my focuses can be learning how to live a healthy lifestyle again. If I am unhealthy all of the time (which is what it feels like most of the time), then I will not be able to participate fully in what life has to offer me. There are many things I would still like to do in my lifetime, so if something doesn't change, many of those wishes will become unfulfilled.
So much to learn, so little time. :)