Wednesday, July 7, 2010

How does one apologize?

So what do you do when you need to apologize to someone in your life and you feel like the more time passes the harder it gets? I disappointed a friend recently and I feel horrible. All I want to do is pick up the phone and beg forgiveness but then I wonder the response will be. I have done odd things to my friends throughout my dealings with my depression and anxiety over the last 13 years, no question. And for the most part I have been completely forgiven (as far as I know). My friends have always accepted the whole person I am, faults and all. When I am anxious or upset I have a difficult time communicating and it weighs heavily on me.

I hate disappointing my friends. I really hope I end up being able to make amends with this friend and start feeling like I can pick up the phone. I have been told that I am a much nicer person since my work craziness ended, so I hope that stress is over. I was an absolute mess at the end of the site contest. I clocked in more than double the hours during the last few days of the contest and my hubby worked like a slave over the last week as well. Of course while my part ended and is back to normal, his job still has him incredibly tied up. I just pray for some courage and some level of forgiveness from the people who love me.

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